Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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