the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I lost the right to judge tonight
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
