He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize