My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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