i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
