you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
