How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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