I'm drive I can fine osifer
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
