ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize