I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
