I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
