Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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