yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
