I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
