I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
