i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
