RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
