Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
