Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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