after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
