either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
