dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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