i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
