It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
