Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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(770): View more from Georgia

We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable

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(415): View more from California

sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

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(407): View more from Florida

Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry

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(334): View more from Alabama

i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.

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(818): View more from California

A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away

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