I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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