Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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