My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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