so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
