Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize