At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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