Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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