he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
