Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
