saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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