O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
