I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
