Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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