I think I died a long time ago.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
