i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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