spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Randomize
