You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
