I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
