why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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