can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
