You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
