After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You have to summon your inner elephant
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
