The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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