yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
