i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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