You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
