Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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