Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
