You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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