New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
