I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm too high and old for this...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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