i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
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And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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