We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
