god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
