yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk