you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.