I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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